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December 07
When Men Think Private Thoughts
Exploring the Issues that Captivate the Minds of Men
by Gordon Macdonald
BV4528.2 MAC
Reviewed by: Mr Philip Poh Heo Hock
Gordon MacDonald defines “private thoughts” as “the inner, personal world that carries on its own conversations” while we go about our lives. These conversations may be mere impulses and fleeting rushes. Others may be profound and recurrent. But all usually return to “haunt” our minds in times of quietness, reminding us of “what should have been” and making us “replay” repeatedly what has happened. These conversations may also make us question our understanding of the issue, cause us to doubt our stand and develop in us guilt feelings and complexes for not being able to make a public stand of what we have been thinking privately.
What are these “private thoughts” about? The author, with years of experience in counseling and ministry as a pastor, puts up several major issues that men would always think about: masculinity, sexuality, intimacy, romance, friendships, achievements and success in life. These issues define a man’s image, his life and his life-style. He has touched on these issues in his earlier books, but he now brings them together in one book and delves deeper, surfacing critical features based on his many conversations with other men, counseling sessions, workshops and teaching conferences.
Though published more than 10 years ago and there have been many developments in the issues since, I think this book is STILL relevant because the nature of men has not changed. While the world now buzzes with the hum of modern technology and moves at the speed of light, men are still reticent of displaying and articulating what they really mean and feel. Men are, and have always been, private persons. We prefer not to reveal our thoughts. When we do, our behavior is usually shaped by social norms, cultural upbringing and personal ideals. There is always the need to be “macho”, strong and certain of ourselves. We do not want to seen by others (including other men!) as insecure, weak and emotional. Thus, we continue to wrestle with our own thoughts on our own, trying very hard to square them with our public behavior, not wanting to know whether there are others who are in the same battlefield.
What I like most about this book is how the author ends his review of the issues. He ends with words of encouragement for us to think through, to focus on our God as our Maker, and to manage such thoughts when they surface. To facilitate the reflection, the author lists several questions for personal reflection and group discussions.
MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, I am greatly encouraged by the author’s premise that our “private thoughts” should not just about the past and always end with the wallowing in guilt complexes. Our “private thoughts” should be shaped as a legacy for the future. To demonstrate this, he addresses the epilogue of the book to his grandsons, exhorting them to move with God and detailing what he would want them to remember their grandfather by. I should do likewise. I should learn to direct my “private thoughts” to my three sons. And turn them into a prayer that God will guide my wife and I to leave a rich legacy for them to look back on as a source of encouragement and comfort for their lives ahead.
This book strives to present compelling evidence to an intellectual audience of the truth of the Bible in lieu of the vogue of post-modernism in today’s world.
In the foreword written by Ravi Zacharias, he highly recommends this book by his colleague in The Zacharias Trust, the European office of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries which was founded to come alongside the church to help reach an increasingly secular Europe.
This book is much aligned with the vision of The Zacharias Trust; to engage with the questions of both skeptics and believers by offering an apologetic that makes sense to both heart and mind.
The author cleverly picks through the loopholes of hermeneutic understanding which has commonly been used to shape the moral standards and evaluation of the times (according to her).
As the title suggests, ethical issues such as homosexuality are not glossed over, but given a good hard look and are addressed with Scripture. There is a chapter on other books as well, which analyses the holy books of other religions. The author weaves through the implicit assumptions behind claims of the Bible being purely about interpretation and firmly proves the truth value of the Word Of God.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with these questions (as outlined in her title above).
Gordon MacDonald defines “private thoughts” as “the inner, personal world that carries on its own conversations” while we go about our lives. These conversations may be mere impulses and fleeting rushes. Others may be profound and recurrent. But all usually return to “haunt” our minds in times of quietness, reminding us of “what should have been” and making us “replay” repeatedly what has happened. These conversations may also make us question our understanding of the issue, cause us to doubt our stand and develop in us guilt feelings and complexes for not being able to make a public stand of what we have been thinking privately.
What are these “private thoughts” about? The author, with years of experience in counseling and ministry as a pastor, puts up several major issues that men would always think about: masculinity, sexuality, intimacy, romance, friendships, achievements and success in life. These issues define a man’s image, his life and his life-style. He has touched on these issues in his earlier books, but he now brings them together in one book and delves deeper, surfacing critical features based on his many conversations with other men, counseling sessions, workshops and teaching conferences.
Though published more than 10 years ago and there have been many developments in the issues since, I think this book is STILL relevant because the nature of men has not changed. While the world now buzzes with the hum of modern technology and moves at the speed of light, men are still reticent of displaying and articulating what they really mean and feel. Men are, and have always been, private persons. We prefer not to reveal our thoughts. When we do, our behavior is usually shaped by social norms, cultural upbringing and personal ideals. There is always the need to be “macho”, strong and certain of ourselves. We do not want to seen by others (including other men!) as insecure, weak and emotional. Thus, we continue to wrestle with our own thoughts on our own, trying very hard to square them with our public behavior, not wanting to know whether there are others who are in the same battlefield.
What I like most about this book is how the author ends his review of the issues. He ends with words of encouragement for us to think through, to focus on our God as our Maker, and to manage such thoughts when they surface. To facilitate the reflection, the author lists several questions for personal reflection and group discussions.
MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, I am greatly encouraged by the author’s premise that our “private thoughts” should not just about the past and always end with the wallowing in guilt complexes. Our “private thoughts” should be shaped as a legacy for the future. To demonstrate this, he addresses the epilogue of the book to his grandsons, exhorting them to move with God and detailing what he would want them to remember their grandfather by. I should do likewise. I should learn to direct my “private thoughts” to my three sons. And turn them into a prayer that God will guide my wife and I to leave a rich legacy for them to look back on as a source of encouragement and comfort for their lives ahead.
Is The Bible Intolerant?
Sexist? Oppressive? Homophobic? Outdated? Irrelevant?
by Amy Orr-Ewing
Sexist? Oppressive? Homophobic? Outdated? Irrelevant?
by Amy Orr-Ewing
BS480 ORR
Reviewed by: Dorcas Fong
This book strives to present compelling evidence to an intellectual audience of the truth of the Bible in lieu of the vogue of post-modernism in today’s world.
In the foreword written by Ravi Zacharias, he highly recommends this book by his colleague in The Zacharias Trust, the European office of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries which was founded to come alongside the church to help reach an increasingly secular Europe.
This book is much aligned with the vision of The Zacharias Trust; to engage with the questions of both skeptics and believers by offering an apologetic that makes sense to both heart and mind.
The author cleverly picks through the loopholes of hermeneutic understanding which has commonly been used to shape the moral standards and evaluation of the times (according to her).
As the title suggests, ethical issues such as homosexuality are not glossed over, but given a good hard look and are addressed with Scripture. There is a chapter on other books as well, which analyses the holy books of other religions. The author weaves through the implicit assumptions behind claims of the Bible being purely about interpretation and firmly proves the truth value of the Word Of God.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with these questions (as outlined in her title above).
How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships
by Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas
“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” – Alexander Pope
There is no person on earth in his/her life, who can declare to never have hurt someone or be hurt by someone. Be it intentionally or unintentionally, as members of a fallen generation, though saved by grace (Praise God for this ), the inevitable truth remains that there is a deep need for humility to minister and to receive the 5 languages of forgiveness.
Written by the authors who conceptualised 5 languages of love for various relationships, Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas propose in this book that people might possibly have different ways of apologising to each other. However, due to the individual comprehension of an inevitably narrow range of languages of apology, a sincere apology may very well end up ‘lost-in-translation’.
The authors elaborate on the 5 fundamental languages of apology:-
1. Expressing Regret – “I am sorry”
2. Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong”
3. Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right?”
4. Genuinely Repenting – “I’ll try not to do that again.”
5. Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me?”
From my perspective, I do not see these 5 languages of forgiveness as separate from each other, unlike the 5 languages of love where clear distinctions can be drawn between the different languages. Rather, these fundamental aspects of forgiveness, seem to me like stages which comprise an apology in its totality.
Insightful book, would recommend it for light reading and of course - Merry Christmas to all BRMC members!!
by Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas
BV 4597.52 CHA
Reviewed by: Dorcas Fong
“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” – Alexander Pope
There is no person on earth in his/her life, who can declare to never have hurt someone or be hurt by someone. Be it intentionally or unintentionally, as members of a fallen generation, though saved by grace (Praise God for this ), the inevitable truth remains that there is a deep need for humility to minister and to receive the 5 languages of forgiveness.
Written by the authors who conceptualised 5 languages of love for various relationships, Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas propose in this book that people might possibly have different ways of apologising to each other. However, due to the individual comprehension of an inevitably narrow range of languages of apology, a sincere apology may very well end up ‘lost-in-translation’.
The authors elaborate on the 5 fundamental languages of apology:-
1. Expressing Regret – “I am sorry”
2. Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong”
3. Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right?”
4. Genuinely Repenting – “I’ll try not to do that again.”
5. Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me?”
From my perspective, I do not see these 5 languages of forgiveness as separate from each other, unlike the 5 languages of love where clear distinctions can be drawn between the different languages. Rather, these fundamental aspects of forgiveness, seem to me like stages which comprise an apology in its totality.
Insightful book, would recommend it for light reading and of course - Merry Christmas to all BRMC members!!
